Thoughts? So what?
7 June 2022The Cold is a Warm Friend
7 June 2022Let’s hope it’s not explosions.
Let’s hope he’s not thinking, ‘Gee, I have one of the most dangerous jobs in the world.’
A few years back; I was talking to an anxious friend about fear. She said it was a good thing because it keeps her safe.
I don’t remember how I responded. I had brought up the topic because a technique I was working with at the time claimed that fear was unnecessary. It said it was ‘just a story’, and therefore you can let go of it, and live fear-free.
Nice idea, I thought. But not possible.
Back then, my main fear was of running out of money. I also feared myself.
These were logical fears: I could run out of money, and I had made terrible decisions in the past. As a result of them, I no longer had financial security. This was quite a big deal (English understatement).
Most people are scared of things that most likely won’t happen, I thought. Or if they did, they wouldn’t be that bad.
But my fear was real. If I didn’t sort myself out fast, it would happen. This was useful and appropriate fear.
But then someone told me about bomb disposal teams.
Their job is to walk towards live bombs and deactivate them before they explode.
The guy who does that IS in danger. If he’s too slow, or makes a mistake, The BOMB WILL EXPLODE and KILL HIM.
Would be a good idea, if he wakes at 4:48 am thinking about explosions? Would it be a good idea that, as he walks towards the bomb, he is wondering what it would feel like to be blown up and the effect it would have on his family?
By my previous logic, the answer is ‘yes’. If something bad is likely to happen, it’s good to be afraid.
This is clearly not right.
As the bomb disposal guy approaches the bomb, we want him thinking about the circuitry in this type of explosive. We want him remembering the last bomb of this variety he diffused successfully. We want him mentally rehearsing what he is going to do, detailed step, by detailed step.
We do not want him thinking about explosions.
Next time fear appears, think about the bomb disposal guy.
Picture him walking towards the bomb, with all his experience and technical knowledge foremost in his mind.
Just try it and see if it helps.
The story of the bomb disposal guy will sometimes feature in a Rapid Resolution Therapy (RRT) The Institute for Rapid Resolution Therapy, Inc. session to address fear.
Subconscious mind is running the show when we’re afraid. Telling it not be afraid, telling it fear will make things worse, won’t be effective.
When we’re fearful, we’re not creative, flexible or open to other people. Minds become rigid. They create compelling scenarios – images, sounds and sensations—of exactly the thing they desperately want to avoid.
This is why stories and metaphors play a key role in RRT. They communicate directly with the unconscious. When we communicate on this level, troubling emotions aren’t just reframed, they are cleared, and this process is effortless – it’s as if they simply melt away,