How to be Miserable18 August 2022
What’s all this about ‘haters’?18 August 2022
People don’t come to me saying,
‘I’d really like to clear the emotional impact of financial losses.’
They come because they are in pain.
They don’t say, ‘I would like to stop being so disturbed by this outcome, which I have been perceiving as a failure.’
Even though this is what I do.
They come because they are exhausted by trying to deal with it alone. They come because their relationships are suffering under the burden of secrecy and preoccupation.
We understand the wisdom of getting clear so that we can move on. We understand intellectually that this will help us look at our situation as it is, instead of through the lens of what might have been. We know we’re less likely to repeat an experience if we dissolve the emotional glue that makes it feel like it’s part of us.
Seeing things this way – and believing that someone can get you there – isn’t always available. Intense experiences and mental clarity aren’t often found in bed together.
The situation usually feels more like this:
➜ sense non-specific of doom or dread
➜ hopelessness and despair
➜ lack of trust in self
➜ counting on a miracle
𝗜𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗯𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀/𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗳𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴. In fact, it’s much easier to recover once you have cleared out the emotional impact of what has happened.
There’s a pervasive value system that tells us we must be a near-constant mission of self-improvement. Maybe that works for you – for me, it made things 10x worse.
You can feel infinitely better before you’ve changed your life circumstances. This is because you are way more than your money, your job, your house or nay of the rest of it.
I learned the long way round and wasted a lot of time and money in the process. You don’t have to.
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