When I hit the skids, I became obsessed with self-improvement. I tried everything. The problem was me, so unless I could fix it, I would always feel terrible and live a miserable life.

I had made a few decisions that had bad outcomes.
That was it.

If you believe there is something wrong with you, molehills morph into mountains, and two things happen:

You go on an internal witch hunt to find out what it is, where it comes from, where else it causes havoc in your life.


You become hyper vigilant about yourself. If you think someone is going to harm you, it would be very smart to find out a lot about then. When it’s yourself you are scared of, this become a problem.


You become very boring (this one is an attempt at a joke, but given (1) and (2), it’s inevitable.)



What I did was nothing unusual, but when I tried to find my way out of it, I picked up the wrong map.

I was a stranger in London with a fine antique map from 1574. They didn’t even draw the Thames the right shape.

This map told me that to get past my regrets about my decisions, I would need to do the following:

Forgive myself,

Love myself

Find out why I’d made such dumb decisions.

Find out what other dumb decisions I’d made so that I could look for patterns of f**ked upness

Find out what dumb decisions my parents had made so that I could find out about their f**ked upness too.

Dump all my negative friends and find some more successful ones

Stare in the mirror and say to myself, ‘I am rich and successful’ 300 times each day.

Find all my limiting beliefs and change them, e.g. turn ‘I am not good with money’ to ‘I make intelligent well-informed decisions.’

I did all this. It was very expensive.

My situation continued to get worse. I could make myself feel better by doing more worksheets, journaling and guru-listening.

I was waiting for the day when I would be good again. When I had done my time, paid my penance and could be free. I thought the more I suffered now, the sooner I’d be free.

It didn’t.

What I did was nothing compared to this.

Then I discovered the GoogleMaps of the mind: The Institute for Rapid Resolution Therapy, Inc.

My destination: to be clear of all this craziness, to stop thinking about me, journaling about me, making everything about me, the one lost her money, the one who ‘f**ked it all up.’

When I met with Doctor Jon Connelly, I already knew his work was unlike anyone else’s and that he has a unique way of working with people.

We began the session. I told him what I wanted to clear of, but then he wouldn’t let me speak.

I was incensed! I wanted to tell the whole sorry tale of how dumb I was and how hard I have worked to get past it. But he wasn’t interested.

Finally. Sanity.

Instead of ploughing the trough deeper as I had been doing, he cleared it. The video is on YouTube.

By the end, I can hardly contain my excitement. I was so full of energy afterwards that I skipped around my apartment, delighted.