‘I should have …’ ‘I should never have …’ ‘I really wish I had …’ ‘I wish I hadn’t …’
The experience of ‘I should have …’
Step 1 – you see a trigger: the thing you would have got if you had acted differently.
Step 2 – your body and mind create pictures, sounds and sensations.
Step 3 – plan for change!
When I saw that headline, I felt sick, my stomach tightened, and my heart sank. I felt stupid, inadequate and terrified of the future.
Even so, ‘I should (never) have…’ is not a fact, it’s a feeling.
Why does this matter? Because feelings can be released. By releasing feelings of regret, you can free yourself of the bind of the past.
How can you do that? The main technique I use is the Sedona Method. But I integrate this with other teachings and techniques. I use Polyvagal Theory to understand what is happening in the nervous system and Rapid Resolution Therapy (Jon Connelly) to undo the belief that I we change the past.