I see the word everywhere: Mindset21 June 2022
There is no such thing as self-sabotage.21 June 2022
We’d all rather be around upbeat people. If someone tells you they’re feeling down, you naturally want to bring them up.
So what do you do?
If someone tells you they’re feeling down, you naturally want to bring them up.
So what do you do?
Tell them that they could do some exercise. Perhaps eat a bit more healthily?
This would probably make them want to punch you on the nose, only they don’t have the energy.
Forget about being accurate, logical, helpful and – above all – sensible. Learn to be effective instead.
𝘛𝘰 𝘥𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵, 𝘸𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘭𝘶𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘴 𝘪𝘵.
★ They hear your upbeat suggestions as accusations that they are not doing enough to help themselves.
★ They hear it as implying that they are choosing to be depressed.
★ Suggestions of action are inseparable from the prospect of failure – either they won’t be able to do it, or it won’t work. More failure is seen as leading to more depression.
𝗔𝗱𝘃𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗯𝗹𝗲𝗺
Self-accusation, self blame and terror at the possibility of (another) failure are the foundation of depression. They are the walls, the windows and the doors of it too.
Most advice isn’t effective because the medicine is more of the disease. It is like dropping someone with hypothermia into an ice bath.
𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝗽𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗱𝗲𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻
This is not happiness, but action. An action might be sitting in the park reading a book, or taking a night off.
The opposite of depression is when you do something that is good to do and good to have done. It includes activities that replenish and revitalise you
Picture a student in medical school. She doesn’t think, ‘Am I in the mood to go to class today?’ she hasn’t got time to think that, she’s going to class. She’s doing something which will get her a degree.
She can do this because her mind reads today’s classes as worth doing, because they lead to a reward in three years’ time that is available and worth having.
𝗗𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗿𝘆, 𝗶𝘁 𝗺𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗻
Exactly. That’s the problem.
The depressed person’s mind does not process data like our medical student.
How could somebody be motivated to do something if they didn’t believe that the thing was ever going to happen? If their mind processes opportunity as something that which happens to other people?
Being motivated to do something that will never happen wouldn’t make any sense. Unless you are Canute, you don’t stand at the seashore, trying to stop the waves rolling in. It’s not going to happen, so you don’t waste energy on it.
To be effective in addressing an issue, we need to know what we are addressing.
😞 No one is making a choice to be miserable, it’s to do with how mind is processing data.
🤔 To effectively clear depression, we change the way mind processes data.
🎓 This is what we do in a Rapid Resolution Therapy session. It’s complex, it’s skilled, and it works.
DM me to find out more.