Yes. Feelings lie.
The first time I heard this, I was furious.

How dare this guy tell me that what I feel isn’t true? How dare he!

But he was right. It was Hale Dwoskin who teaches the #SedonaMethod. I heard him say this in 2015, so it’s taken me seven years to see that it’s true.

Feelings are exquisite, mysterious, gloriously human. They frame our lives and personality. The range of feelings I feel are part of what makes me ‘me’. The feelings you feel makes you ‘you’ and gives you your familiar sense of self.

But they are based on untruths.

Here are a few thoughts that will most likely make you grumpy:

? I should have more followers/attention/money/friends/lovers/all of the above.

? I should have worked harder

? I should look better and be younger

None of this is true. There is not another you who did it all right. There cannot be a replay where you make better decisions.
This is it. This is all there is.

A lot of what drives feeling is biological and survival-oriented, the rest is cultural. It’s hubris to think you can override your built-in functions. ‘Hacking your nervous system’ is an insane idea.

Unpleasant and unhelpful feelings are going to appear no matter what you do. And they are probably lying to you.

The way to experience true freedom in life is to learn to become indifferent to feelings. That’s it.

——-
Imagine you are lying in bed in an unfamiliar room, in a large old house. In the semi-darkness, and you hear ‘tap, tap, tap’ at the window.

You are terrified. Who is it? What do they want?

You switch the light on and see the tips of the tree branches tapping against your window in the Autumn night breeze.

When you go back to bed, even if you wanted to, you cannot recreate the fear because you know what is causing the sound.
———

It’s the same with uncomfortable feelings. They are caused by mind misreading data, and then generating emotion to act on data.

An example:
? I am going to party, and I am nervous. What happens at this party has zero consequences. My mind doesn’t see it that way. It misreads the event as potential humiliating and even life-threatening, and therefore produces anxiety. ?

With this perspective, you can learn not to take so much notice of emotions, not to be so enthral to them. The first time I experienced this, I discovered I could be irritated by someone, and at peace at the same time.

My body reacted, there were some thoughts about the person, but there wasn’t any disturbance.

My emotional life has been very precious to me. I was captivated by my feelings about everything and everyone, so this was quite new.

I thought this was keeping life interesting, but it’s the opposite.

You will never get rid of fears, nor will you get rid of feelings about yourself and others that you don’t want. But once you see them as branches tapping on the window, it changes everything. You’re free.

Inspired by The Institute for Rapid Resolution Therapy, Inc.

#emotionalintelligence